A Father's Day Letter from the Heart

Dear Dad,

Happy Father's Day!  I miss you so much!  I have missed you since you left us, oh so many years ago now.  Thirty-seven to be exact, but it's been harder in recent years, since Mom joined you.  Now that you are both gone, it's really hard at times.  When Mom was still with us, we had a part of you.  Now, it just all seems so permanent.  And as far as this life goes, is it.  There is no more. 

Don't misunderstand... I am very happy for the two of you.  Mom waited a long time to join you.  Those last years I would daily hear her say, "I don't know why the good Lord just doesn't take me home." She would go on to say she just wanted to be with her Ernest again.  A marriage made in heaven, a love like no other.  Thank-you so much for loving my mom.  That is the greatest gift you could have ever given to me, or to Ernie and Craig.

I remember being a little kid thinking I would always be a little kid living at home with my parents.  I didn't think I would ever really grow up.  I did.  When I had a house full of young kids, I didn't think they would ever really grow up.  They did.  I still have Leah at home for a few more short, precious years, but time passes quickly.  I have eight grandbabies, and counting.

I regret that you never knew my children - April, Jason, Mandy and Leah.  I have such great kids.  You would love them.  I'm sure you do know them and love them from heaven, but you know what I mean. 

Tabitha and Yvonne have such fond memories of you, although I know even those are too few.  They were very young still when you passed on.

Christmas 1976

I regret that we weren't closer as I grew up.  I remember we were really close when I was a little girl.  We used to play all the time, and it was so much fun!  When I was around seven, you pulled away from me somewhat.  I didn't understand why.  As I grew older, I saw my friends with their daddies, and saw that special daddy/daughter relationship.  I wanted that with you.  I had a hard time understanding.  I didn't know what I had done wrong.  I always knew you loved me, and you would make a point to tell me on occasion.  As a teenager, I remember you sat me down to explain to me once again that you loved me very much, and that you just had a hard time showing affection to anyone other than Mom.  I understood, kinda, but I always wanted to be a daddy's girl.  I still want to be a daddy's girl.

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.  I'm not really, just talking from my heart tonight.  You were such a great dad!  I know I didn't always think so, and I didn't appreciate you the way I should have, but you were a GREAT dad!!!  I am so thankful, and feel so blessed to be your daughter.  I know how much I was wanted and loved, and I understand your years of sacrifice to provide well for us all.  Mom always said that us kids would never know how much you loved us. 

Thank-you for all the wonderful weekend camping trips at Mt. Gilead and John Bryan State Parks, and so many other places.  I have wonderful memories of those years, and I know that is why I love the outdoors so much today.  I have to have a regular campfire fix.  There is nothing like sitting in front of a campfire for hours on end.  Do you remember the time we caught lots and lots of fish at Mt. Gilead?  I think Craig and Betty were with us that time.  You made "potato chips" out of all the fish tails and fins.  I remember they were pretty good!  Mom thought you were nuts. 

Thank-you for at least attempting to take me hunting.  I didn't mean to get stuck on top of a thorn bush.  I'm still not sure how that happened.  You never took me again after that.  You did teach me to shoot a gun.  I think the first time I shot a gun, I was around five years old.  I remember practicing in the back yard as a teenager.  That was fun, and I learned to respect guns.

Thank-you for the half acre pond in the back yard when we lived out on Taylor Rd. in Plain City!  It was awesome having a place to swim in the summer and ice skate in the winter!  We even had a beach and a diving board.  It was great.  Thank-you for Rango.  He wasn't the collie I had wanted, but I loved him.

Dad and me.  Our back yard in front of the pond.  Summer 1977.

The above picture is somewhat of a miracle.  I was not allowed to wear bikinis.  However, you didn't say anything when I bought them with my own money after I was old enough to get a job.  I don't think you really wanted to take this picture, but I'm so glad I have it.  It is one I cherish.  We played a lot that day.  Mom was swinging at us with a bad-mitten rack as we took pictures of her.  Funny.  Memories.

Thank-you for not letting me be any stupider than necessary.  I would have done a whole lot more stupid things if you had not been watching so close.  I wish I had listened to you more.  You've gotten smarter as I've gotten older!  I'm sorry for all those times I disappointed you.  I wish I could do it over.  We can't go back.  We can only go forward.  Thank-you for loving me anyway.  I'm sorry.

Thank-you for the trip out West.  The six or seven weeks from Columbus, OH to San Francisco, CA and back was awesome.  I fell in love with the mountains in Colorado.  They are the main reason I am here in Tennessee now.  Elvis died while we were in the Mojave Desert.  Lake Tahoe was beautiful beyond pictures or words, and freezing cold.  We both got in and swam, and our fingers were white.  We floated on Great Salt Lake in Utah.  I regret not walking down the Grand Canyon with you.  I've always regretted that.  You had to go by yourself.  The trip had its good and bad moments.  We didn't know you had a brain tumor until we got back.  It is still hard to imagine you doing all that driving with that in your head.  God was with us.

Me and Dad, Flaming Gorge, Wyoming. Summer, 1977

I don't think we ever danced.  I didn't get a daddy daughter dance at my wedding.  That's on my list for when I see you again.  I love you, Dad.  Happy Father's Day!  ~Michele Alayne

Dad, The New Deal and the Civilian Conservation Corp.

When I started on the scrapbook, I remembered a stack of postcards Mom had given me years before.  They were tucked away in a box with other special treasures, some old comic books that belonged to my brothers, among other things.  Surprisingly, I found them without too much searching.  I started digging for information, reading between the lines, trying to put a timeline together in my head.  More than anything, I just wanted to know Ernest and Harriet.  Who they were to others, to their best friends, to family... all the parts of them I never knew.  We really know so little about our parents.  Most of us mistakenly think we are all the life they ever had.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  It's just that when we are young, our parents are our entire life.  Something like that.

In that stack of postcards I found another telegraph.  I knew about the one Dad sent Mom telling her to come to Midland, TX, but this one in the middle of all of the postcards was from Mom to Dad telling him she missed a bus connection on her way to Texas to meet him.  Sixty-eight years later, I feel like I can hear her crying.

As usual, I am rambling off the subject.  In that stack of postcards were some to and from dad while he was in Pullman, Washington and Lewiston, Idaho, postmarked 1938.  Dad was twenty years old then.  I couldn't figure out why on earth Dad would be out West!  He didn't go into the military until 1942, after he and Mom were married.  What in the heck was the CCC?  The more I look for answers to one question, the more questions I found!  It was so exciting to have my parents life unfold before my eyes!!!

Google has been my best friend for awhile now, and Google didn't let me down this time either.  A couple of clicks brought up all kinds of information on the Civilian Conservation Corp (CCC).  I spent so much time, probably months, researching exactly where Dad was and for how long.  What kind of work he did, trying to find actual articles of what his troop accomplished when he was with them.  I was confused for awhile, because the pictures in his old photo album had 1936 as the year, but I think it was just a typo.  I haven't been able to find any proof that Dad was in the CCC except for 6 months in 1938.  Finally, I had answer to why there were pictures of the Oregon countryside.  Dad worked for the Soil Conservation Service.  He planted trees to help stop the erosion on the hill sides.  The pictures that looked like they were taken at military barracks,  were actually the barracks at the CCC camp Dad was stationed at.  Unfortunately, from what I was able to learn from my research, the camps Dad was at are no longer there.  I wish there was a place I could go and visit, and see what he saw.  I will make a trip out there someday.

Picture was marked Oregon 1936, in Dad's album.

Picture was marked Oregon 1936, in Dad's album.

When I mentioned the postcards to Ernie, he began to tell me that Dad was in the Civilian Conservation Corp, and what little he could remember.  I never knew!!!  I don't understand why Mom and Dad didn't talk about it.  I suppose Dad didn't realize he was living history at the time.  It was just part of his life.  Craig says he remembers dad telling him he helped pave the Oregon Trail.  I can't find any evidence to that, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  There are so many stories I wish I had heard, and so many I heard that I wish I could remember!!!  Dad may have said something when I asked about the pictures, but I wouldn't have understood what he was talking about.  I'm sure I was very young.  I was only eighteen when he passed away.

I remember Mom telling me that Grandma and Grandpa were upset when Dad married her, because he helped to support them financially up until then.  I remember her talking about dad working a long way off at one point and sending them most of the money.  That was how the CCC was set up.  The young men made $30.00 a month, $25.00 of which was sent home to their parents.  Dad's CCC days were before he and Mom met.  More detail is in the second blog post, called "Let's Get Started" in the Introduction to the scrapbook.

Another interesting find was that Dad used Gordon's (his brother) social security number when he joined.  When I initially sent for Dad's CCC records, the archives told me they had no record of an Ernest C. Ely with the social security number I sent.  Obviously, I had overwhelming evidence that he there.  I started to wonder if he might have used Uncle Brud's information.  I found Uncle Brud's social security number through Ancestry.com, and sure enough, that is what happened.  Dad used his name, but his brother's social.  I now have Dad's papers from the CCC. 

Below are a couple of the postcards. I love the message in the second one that mentions seeing all of the Indians.  That must have been cool.

The message on this card is the one about that mentions the Indians.

This goes with the 1st one, Mt. Rainier.

Below are a couple of pictures of boxing matches that took place at Dads CCC camp.  I found some articles online telling of boxing championships in Pullman, Washington, in 1936, but none dated 1938.  The pictures are from Dad's album.

Boxing Championships, Pullman, Washington, CCC Camp

Pullman, Washington CCC Camp 1938

More CCC Postcards

The top postcard is to Dad (nick named Fagan) from his best friend Bill Bolin.  The bottom one was written to Dad by Aunt Marg and Uncle Brud... dad's brother, Gordon.

Next are some pictures of the CCC Camps.  You can see Dad enjoyed hunting while he was there... and he worked out!  All these young men put in a lot of hard work!

Dad and three of his CCC buddies.  Dad is third from the left.

Some newspaper articles I found about the camps Dad was at.

 Dad was in Company 554 with the Soil Conservation Service (SCS), but not at the time this article was written that I know of.  The company replaced 2914, which was disbanded. There were several camps that were relatively close to one another. Genesee was one of them.  They are all mentioned in one of the above articles.

I'd say Dad did some boxing while in the CCC

Ernest ~ Some Family History

Ernest Charles Ely - Late teens or early twenties

Ernest Charles Ely 

I'm not really sure where to begin about my dad.  When I began working on the scrapbook, I realized how much I didn't know about him.  I wish I had known him better.  I wish he could have stayed around longer.

I have always believed that Dad's last 15 years were a gift.  He almost died of a bleeding ulcer when I was three.  He wasn't expected to make it through the night that first night.  I remember Dad was very sick, and I have vague memories of Mom crying and being upset.  I have one memory that is very clear for me having been so young.  I was too young to see Dad in his hospital room, so when he had recovered to the point where he could come and see me, I remember he came into the waiting room or lobby in a wheel chair, and I remember being so excited and I yelled, "Daddy!" and ran all the way across the room to him and jumped up on his lap.  I'm pretty sure dad was in no shape to be jumped on!  Mom rushed over and got me settled down.  I think I was allowed to stay on Dad's lap for a little while.  I also remember Aunt Murt and Aunt Lucy being there, and having lunch with them and Mom while at the hospital.

I feel quite positive that many fervent prayers were said in regards to sparing Dad's life.  Not only were my parents always very much in love, they had a family to finish raising together; two teenage boys, and a three year old little girl who needed her daddy.  Mom needed Dad.  I don't know what she would have done.  We all have to deal with life as it happens to us, but in this case I think God intervened and allowed Dad to stick around for 15 more years, just long enough to get me raised and through high school.  Then the good Lord took him home.  I realized the other day that I am the same age Mom was when Dad passed on.  Mom never dated anyone after Dad.  He was her one and only.

The pictures above are some that were in Dad's photo album.  For so many years I wondered who that pretty little girl was.  I remember asking Mom and she didn't seem to know.  As it turns out, it is my Grandma Ely, Sadie Frances Collins.  When I took the pictures from the photo album, which had been glued on, I was able to make out the writing on the back.  Grandma was writing to someone and had signed her name, Sadie.  I knew her as Grandma Williams because she remarried a few years after Grandpa died to a man by the name of Fred Williams.  I never got to meet my Grandpa Ely.  He died Christmas Day in 1957, and I was born in April of 1959.  I always really missed not having a Grandpa.

The young man in the middle of the page is Gordon Randall Ely, my grandpa, at the age of 16.  Yes, his dog was named Blue Dick.  To the right is a picture of my dad in 1926.  He was eight.  He is the one sitting down on the far right.  His older brother, Gordon, is standing up in the back.  The other two little ones must be neighbors or friends.  The names on the picture are Bob and Dorthy Taner.  The picture in the top left is of Ernest and Gordon.  I think Dad was around three, Gordon, or Uncle Brud as I knew him, was seven.  I don't remember what year Uncle Brud was born.  I don't have access to my Family Tree on Ancestry.com at the moment to be able to verify any dates.  If you have an account, the name of the tree is Michele Ely Family Tree.  I have the Ely's traced back to the 1600's.

Gordon Randall Ely and Sadie Frances Collins Ely - I still have the angel that is on the Christmas Tree!!!

Ernest (Dad), Gordon (Grandpa), Gordon (Uncle Brud), Mary (Aunt Mary), Sadie (Grandma)

                 Gordon (Back), Dorthy and Bob Taner, Ernest - 1926

Ernest and Gordon Ely - 1920

Sadie Frances Collins

Gordon (Brud), Sadie, Gordon, Mary 

Well, this is a start.  I just wanted to get started again.  I haven't added to the blog in months and I do want to get through the entire scrapbook, and so much more.  I want to record all I have learned, as well as stories I remember growing up.

Next time I will write about Dad's Civilian Conservation Corp days... as well as some other random memories I am sure.  If anyone in the family has information to add, please let me know.  I love finding out new things about our family history.

Harriet: The Growing Up Years

Sometime after Mom's passing, I decided to go through the big family album that she had.  It was a newer album with newer pictures.  By newer, I mean it was filled mostly with her grand children.  My nieces, Tabitha and Yvonne were probably the inspiration for it.  There were a couple of old 8 x 10's in it, like the black and white family picture.  As I started going through the album, I removed all the hidden pictures behind the newer one on top.  I love doing that.  To this day, I leave the older picture in the frame that I am replacing with a newer, more up to date one.  A favorite thing is to look at all the old pictures when I open up the back of that frame.  April, at age one with her crazy hair and precious smile, Jason with his skinned knees and so cute that everyone thought he was a girl until he turned three, Mandy, with her blond hair wearing her strawberry bikini, Leah with a rubber duckie sitting in a tin tub with her crazy hair on top of her head grinning from ear to ear.  I like to stop and remember.  I like the warm feeling that floods my emotions when I see those memories.

I got off track a little bit... but that's what I was doing with the family album.  Examining each and every picture behind every sleeve.  I had taken all the 5 x 7's out of a tight spot and decided to reach my fingers in as far as I could to see if there was anything else there.  I felt a folded up piece of paper and when I pulled it out, this is what I found! A school paper from Mom's elementary school days!

A story Harriet wrote about the "Akron"

A little girl by the name of Harriet wrote this in August of 1931.  She was almost 7 years old.  What a treasure!!!  It was only a couple of months later that her daddy passed away... on her 7th birthday.

Sometimes I wonder if Mom showed this to me long ago... how did I know to look there, to dig in to that tight slot?  I have come across so many things.  Some I remembered having, others I knew I had but I didn't know their significance until I started the scrap book.

A little bit of history: The USS Akron (ARS-4) was a helium-filled rigid airship of the United States Navy that was lost in a weather-related accident off the New Jersey coast early on April 4, 1933, killing 73 of the 76 crew and passengers on board.  During its accident-prone 18-month term of service, the airship also served as a flying aircraft carrier for launching F9C "Sparrowhawk" biplanes. 

I also have a tag from a Kiddies Picnic at Buckeye Lake Park.  The picnic was sponsored by the Columbus Elk's, Patrol No. 37. The date was Saturday, July 8th, 1933.  A memory of the 8 1/2 year old Harriet.  Grandma must have written her name and address on it because it is written in cursive.  The address on the tag is: 726 W. Chapel.  That would be in Columbus, OH.  That must have been another very special day for her to keep that little piece of history.

I don't know much more about Harriet as she was growing up.  I know there were eight kids total in the family, not including the baby that died.  Mom had four sisters and three brothers.  Wow!  That must have been fun... sometimes, at least.  Mom loved coming from a big family.  She would have liked to have more kiddos herself.  

Random Thought: I would have loved to have had a sister!  I still would love to have a sister.  I envy my girls their close relationship.  April and Mandy are as tight as sisters can be.  I'm happy to have been able to give all four of my kids the gift of sisters and a brother... well J has three sisters, no brother.  They are all very close and that makes me happy.

As I remember different stories, I will share them.  It is very late right now and I am too tired to do a good job.  If I had to guess, I would say Russ was her favorite brother, if not her favorite sibling in all.  As far as sisters go, I would say Martha and Ruthie, the baby.  From what I can remember from Mom's stories, Mean ol' Aunt Lucy was always hard to deal with... at least where Mom was concerned. Lol  Aunt Oma got married shortly after Grandpa died.  I'm not sure if they were close at all.  Oma was nine years older than Harriet.

Top Left- Lucy and Russell, Top Middle- Lucy, Top Right- Oma, Middle- Harriet, Bottom Left- Wyatt, Middle- Mary (Grandma Salyards), Right- Ruth.  Second Page to the far Right is Martha holding her nephew Russ.

 I will talk about some of the other pictures at a later date.

Harriet: Best Friends, The Boyfriend and Artistic Talent

I wonder what it was like to be Harriet's best friend.  I call her Harriet because, as I learned more and more about my mother and her life, I got to know a young woman by the name of Harriet.  With all the hours I researched and dreamed, I feel like I only got to know her a little bit.  I am envious of her best friend, Mary Jo.  I wonder what they whispered about, covered their mouths with their hands and giggled about, the heart breaks they shared and cried about.  Did Harriet cry when Ernest broke up with her that first time when he found out how young she was?  Did she run to Mary Jo's house and fling herself on the bed and cry and cry and cry till the tears were all gone.  Did Mary Jo make her laugh and give her hope that one day, if he was the right one, he would come back?  I bet she did, because that is what best friends do. 

Harriet at age 16 and Mary Jo. Bottom left, Harriet and Clara.

Harriet must have been 16 when she met Ernest Ely.  They were double-dating.  Harriet was with another guy, and Ernest was dating one of her best friends.  I can't remember which one, but I don't think it was Mary Jo or Clara.  Ernest became quite smitten with Harriet that night.  She was a beauty, as you can see from the picture above.  Ernest told Harriet after the double-date that he wanted to start seeing her.  I believe she told him he would have to talk to her friend about it first.  Can you imagine having your girlfriend think you stole her boyfriend?  Apparently, things were not serious between the two of them, from either set of eyes, so it worked out.  He broke things off with the other girl and dated only Mom.  Harriet and her friend remained friends with awkward moments.  Ernest and Harriet happily dated, that is, until he found out she was only 16.  Then he dumped her and ran!  From what I understand, it was quite abrupt. Maybe it wasn't quite that traumatic, but he did quit seeing her.

A random memory: Notice the lipstick.  I am sure it was red.  As a little kid I remember mom getting up at 5:30 am to fix Dad's breakfast and see him off to work.  She would get out of bed, brush her hair and put on her red lipstick.  Every morning.  And when he came home of an evening, guess what?  Yep!  The lipstick... and neatly dressed with her hair in place and make-up on.  No wonder my girls and I are so vain!  We come by it honestly.  You will never catch us in Walmart without our make-up, neatly dressed, hair in place and without lipstick or lip gloss.  Well... maybe if there is a sick baby. 

A few months later Ernest and Harriet ran into one another on a bus, at a bus stop... something like that, in downtown Columbus.  They began to talk.  I'm sure Harriet looked irresistible and Ernest very handsome.  He was six years older than her, after all.  An older man.  And he worked out.  Dad was Buff, as they say.

He used to be able to cross Eckel's Lake on these rings... which was a right of passage in the day.

This is a picture I found on a fan page for Eckel's Lake.  It is probably from the 70's.

The rest is history.  They started dating again.  Harriet was a senior in High School.  One of her teacher's liked to give her a hard time about her work.  Anybody who ever knew Harriet would tell you she knew how to stand her ground and she was certainly a force to be reckoned with when she got in a mood.  One day she just had all she could take, or all she decided she wanted to take, and she told her teacher in no uncertain terms that she wanted to get married anyway.  She walked out and went home.  She quit South High School in January or February of her Senior year and ran off to Greenup, Kentucky with Ernest and got married.  February 7, 1942.  And she lied about her age.  The marriage announcement in the paper said that she and Ernest were both 21.

Fun Fact:  I was talking to my Aunt Mary ( Dad's younger sister, Mary Louise Ely) a few months ago and she told me a story I had never heard before.  Apparently, Dad was going to marry another young woman at one point.  She was underage also.  They were going to run off to get married and her parents put a stop to it, or they did run off and her dad caught up with them and stopped it from happening.  Apparently, Dad was pretty tore up about it for quite awhile.  That may be why he was so gun shy when it came to Mom's age.  Just a thought.  I did find a picture of Dad with his arm around a blond headed girl in one of Grandpa Ely's wallets.  I wonder if that is her.  Aunt Mary said this happened quite awhile before he met Mom.

Opps!  I've jumped ahead of myself.  There are sisters and brothers and other family members that wind through this tale of Harriet's life.  And did I mention that she was quite the artist?  Here are some samples of the art work of a young high school girl in Columbus, Ohio, in the depression era.  The sisters will have to wait until my next post.  Then it is Dad's turn.

The picture on the bottom right is a self-portrait of Mom that Harriet and Ernest drew together.  I wonder where they were at the time.  A park bench?  Inside her home at the kitchen table?  Her home was more commonly known as Grand Central Station.  Lying beside each other under a tree by a lake?  I don't know.  I didn't ask.  Funny how that works.  Ask.

A random memory:  During my first visit to New York City about ten years ago, my best friend, Karen, and I found ourselves in Grand Central Station.  I remembered then how Mom referred to her home growing up as such.  With eight kids and their friends... I'm sure it was just that!

Next time:  More about the Salyards family.  The "sisters"  and brothers and Aunts, Uncle's and Cousins.

Keepers

"Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now... Dad in trousers, work shirt and a hat, and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. ...Things we keep. 

 

 It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating leftovers, renewing; I wanted just once to be wasteful? Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

 

 But when my mother died, and I was standing in that clear morning light in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away, never to return. So..... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken... And heal it when it's sick.

This is true: For marriage... And old cars... And children who misbehave at times... Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it... Because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close!

Happy Mothers Day!

Mom and me when I was about 3 years old.  I have memories of this day.

 

Mom's last summer ~ Alcoa Pool ~ Summer of 2010 ~  It was a good one, and she liked it!!! :)

 

I Miss You, Mom !